When the Best Advice is No Advice: Ears Open and Mouth Closed

Your agenda may be broken

Lisa S. Gerard
5 min readApr 11, 2021


Older sister hugging younger sister
Image by Adina Voicu from Pixabay

Game-Changing Words

I often respond to the written word. And, this meme struck a chord in me in the way it was worded.

It opened my eyes.

So simple. So clean. So real.

I immediately recognized the value and engraved the concept in my mind, never to be forgotten. Ah, to have seen the words, absorbed them, understood them, and implemented them sooner, would have been a game changer.

The words pertained to advice.

It was an unknown author who had written a snippet:

People don’t always need advice. Sometimes all they really need is a hand to hold, an ear to listen and a heart to understand them.

The Problem Solver

My mouth works in rapid-fire coordination with my brain. I imagine that this particular quality of mine has a time and place, maybe in certain careers, but I finally figured out that it should be used sparingly in everyday family life.

As a mom of 3 kids close in age, I needed to come up with effective solutions quickly and efficiently. We had specific circumstances, a little out of the norm. I attempted to keep the house from emotional upheaval.

Overkill? Yes.

I now know how I could have handled certain issues differently.

There is no surefire way to handle the family needs that are seemingly exclusive to you. Add in challenges other families aren’t familiar with, like autism and mental health challenges, and you feel like an island.

It took years for me to see that my motherly advice wasn’t always called for and that my oldest daughter said or did something to make me aware.

I could do better.

The conversation wasn’t earth-shattering enough for me to pinpoint how or when, but she planted a seed.

Of course, this exchange occurred when they were beyond the adolescent, supreme angst, phases. There is no way now to gauge the impact of this approach had I used it…



Lisa S. Gerard

Just doing my thing, letting you do yours. Be kind. It matters. Help break Mental Health stigma. Share a smile.